Shitou Xiqian (Sekito Kisen)

Being zazen is being alive this moment, manifesting awakening. It is body-mind presence, body settled, mind settled. Body-mind settled is body-mind dropped away. Of course, moving we are likewise alive this moment. Whether sitting or walking, it is the self-delusion that blinds us to being awake this moment. In being still, in zazen, we get to see self-movement right away. In being still, moving is self moving, body moving, mind moving, aspects of self-centeredness. Sitting still, attachment and caught-up-ness keeps us from forgetting self; caught up in moving, in wanting to move, keep us from dropped away body-mind.

Forgetting self reveals exactly who we are. We are not limited to some small idea of self, to self-centeredness. Caught in self-centeredness limits us, keeps us from seeing. Self-centeredness seems so natural, this caught-up-ness, which is why and how it is so pernicious, because we believe it as our truth, as our life. Being grounded, stable, and upright is significant. In addition, when sitting still we sense when we are not sitting still. The forms in the zendo, and especially of sesshin, are an opportunity to bump against them, to discover asserting self-centeredness, “my self,” the way I want it, see it, and do it. This is an opportunity to sense desire, to discover wanting to wiggle. The forms in the zendo, of life, are manifesting awakened life – it is no where else.

“I don’t feel like walking in shashu (hands clasped in front of chest), can’t I just swing my hands, it feels so much more natural and comfortable?” Notice the so-called natural and comfortable, the self asserting. The various forms of practice, such as the oryoki eating bowls or sitting cushions, support us in being who we are. The forms reflect a cultural background; it is not better or worse. Though walking while swinging arms is fine, in the zendo we do kinhin (walking practice) with hands clasped at the chest. Making practice effort, we are what is so, and in being experiencing, self is forgotten. We do so in spite of thoughts, in the midst of thoughts such as “I want to do it my way”, “notice me.” If not held to, focused upon and pursued self-centeredly, thoughts come and go in this ‘bigger’ container of life.

As zazen is forgetting the self, giving self to zazen is zazen. Forgetting self enables zazen; being zazen supports forgetting the self. These are not two. Being this functioning life is giving life to eating, walking, sitting. Nevertheless, practice is going beyond; going beyond is not something other than this.

Let us examine case 81 of the Shoyoroku (Book of Equanimity) “Xuansha’s Coming to the District”. The preface: “With movement a shadow manifests. With awareness dusts arise. Raised up it is clear. Thrown down it is intimate. When true people of the way meet, how do they talk?”

”With movement, a shadow manifests.” Shadow is forms of this self-centered holding, of self-centeredness that we think is our life. Movement is the physical aspect, awareness is the mental aspect; so “with awareness dusts arise.” Yet this is nothing but movement, nothing but awareness. In life we have to move, have to notice; doing so we see what is so. When caught up in thought, noticing is an effort, a form of mental activity, yet we have to do that to be present. Otherwise, we are just caught in this dream. We can’t practice, can’t see, if we don’t notice how we are blinded in being caught-up. So we use dirt to clean dirt, use mud to clean mud. Soap is not something clean, soap is made of ashes, oils, lard. But soap is a form of dirt used to clean dirt. Soap makes dirt soluble. What makes self-centeredness soluble? Practice, noticing, allows self-centeredness to dissolve, to be transparent, being this moment.

From the beginning, where and how is there practice? From the beginning, we are nothing but thus. And yet, even though we are thus, still we need to make effort, even though it may be “dirty,” it may be extra to speak about “practice”. Yes, even though movement creates shadow and awareness creates dusts.

“Raised up it is clear, thrown down it is intimate,” refers to what happens in this case, “true people of the way meeting and having a conversation.” Not much to say.

“Attention!” This is the beginning of every case. Some translations leave it out but leaving it out is inadequate. Attention is vital. Not as something extra, but as life functioning. Attention is necessary because of the body mind habit of being caught up, of the self-centered cutting off of life.

In these koan cases not everything is written. For those who see the koan, what is written makes this matter clear. For those who do not see this, what is written is just more words unless the practice effort and opportunity is used to see this matter clearly.

“Xuansha (Gensha in Japanese) arrived at Pudian District, and they welcomed him with a hundred festivities. The next day he asked Great Elder Xiaotang (Shoto in Japanese), “Where has all of yesterday’s commotion gone?” In response, Xiaotang held up the corner of his vestment (robe). Xuansha said: “there is no relation at all, not by a long shot.’”

Is this a silly question? Imagine asking a 4 year old after a birthday party, “where did all the partying go?” How would she respond? How do you respond? What is this question?

There’s a capping phrase by Wansong (Bansho) for the question “where did all the partying go?” - “It’s still noisy.” Expressing and responding, is it noisy now? How so?

Years before, Xuansha stumbled while descending a mountain, banging his toe. He asked, “this body is impermanent, where does this pain come from?” Awakening, he said, “Bodhidharma didn’t come to China, the Second Ancestor didn’t go back to India.” Do you see similarity to “Where did all of yesterday’s festivities go?” What is being asked? How do you respond?

What do we believe about the life of coming and going? All sorts of yesterdays that we hold to, pursue. “I’m still angry at him.” “I won’t go to Aunt Sally’s funeral, no way, she didn’t come to my wedding.” In your life, are there considerations about what you were given, not given? What a friend said to you? Where are these right now?

A commentary on this koan states, “If you hide the world in the world, there is no place to escape.” This is the condition of life; Hiding the world in the world, so we must pick up the world in the world. This is Xuansha’s and Xiaotang’s “conversation.” Taking ordinary circumstances, they raise it up and throw it down.

Xuansha’s question is a fundamental one. What is this life? Are we caught by yesterday, today, tomorrow? What is not caught? What is Xiaotang response? How does holding up the robe make this matter clear? Commenting on this, Wu Lon Chu said, “if you want to get the bare essence, it is the mountains, rivers, and earth that discover it for you. It is eternal and can comprehend the ultimate.” This is it; Xiaotang’s response, ordinary, immediate. The bare essence is exactly this life here. Do you see this? What do mountains, rivers, traffic, food, discover for you? Xiaotang is not taken in by the question. He responds straightforwardly and simple. This is “raised up it is clear”

A comment on this case: “If you enter by way of Manjusri’s door, all conditioned things, earth, wood, tile, stone, help you awaken your potential. If you enter by way of Avalokiteshvara’s door, all sounds, echoes, clans, spiders, help you discover your potential. If you enter by way of Samantabadra’s door you arrive without moving a step. I use these three doors to provisionally direct you like using a broken stick to stir the ocean, making the fish and dragons there know that water is their life.”

Making the fish and dragons know that water is their life, know what is so, is stirring up dust where there is no dust. It is so even when they do not know; yet if they believe otherwise all sorts of troubles arise. Do we know what our life is? When we do not know, what then? What do we believe? The comment refers to the Surangama sutra, where each Bodhisattva talks about their form of practice. This is apropos in that while reading the Surangama sutra, Xuansha had an opening; it is said that subsequently his responses were swift and keen, in accord with the Sutra.

Is Xuansha approving Xiaotang or disapproving? Agreeing or something else?  When I worked on this koan, my teacher Maezumi Roshi said that a better translation is “nothing to do with it at all.” Xuansha is wiping all out, showing it directly, no where to hang on, not this at all.  Words like “just this” can become more dust.  Not this at all.

See how they go back and forth.  Lifting up the robe is direct, not conceptual; this is simple and straightforward.  It is right here; nothing added.  Our opportunity is here.  Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not even today; self-centeredness arises, self-centeredness forgotten. And yet if we think we know what this is, nothing to do with it all.  Xiaotang and Xuansha are like two arrows meeting in mid-air.  One shooting, the other knowing the intentions and shooting to counter the first arrow, that is these two conversing.

No need to look anywhere else, to look in words, phrases.  Really appreciate, live, the jewel of your life, then all is clear. As Fadeng, a Dharma descendant of Xuansha comments, “Today’s an even better laugh.” Whatever appears, take care of it.  Picking it up, putting it down, doesn’t make a difference.  It is this intimate life that you are.

 © 2005 Elihu Genmyo Smith