“Neither trying to avoid deluded thoughts nor seeking truth, nurturing joy is actualizing the life that we are.”

“Dependent arising’ is our life. Clarifying this is our practice. This moment is nothing but dependent arising. Often we fall to one side or the other - trying to hold on to thoughts, emotions, body, or in trying to change or get rid of them. In practice we see how and where we get into difficulties; the difficulties are exactly our opportunity. Even the phrase “dependent arising” can become confusing and conceptually entrapping. Nevertheless, if we see this matter, there are many ways to say this. Of course, there is no dependent, there is no independent, there is no arising, no passing, no permanent – so I say dependent arising. Exactly this, “vast emptiness, no holiness.”

I heard a song titled, “Take all of me.” Some of you might know it; it has been sung and played by many musicians. Usually there is a negative connotation, a mournful connotation, almost complaining, saying since you took this or that, “so why not take all of me.” Cast in another light, this phrase expresses practice, being as is this moment dependent arising; letting life take all of me, giving away all of self, giving self all away, forgetting self.

Starting sesshin, it is nice to review aspects of sitting. There are not really stages of sitting but we can speak “as if” in stages. Sitting is being breathing, giving our self over to breathing. Breathing is awareness. More than focus, it is exactly our life. However, if we are holding to or limiting awareness to breathing, then there is the need and opportunity to open this, so-to-speak, to being this body, this bodily moment. Not to be limited to some small aspect called “breathing” as opposed to “body”, breathing is this whole body breathing. Of course, as soon as there is limiting to some idea of where this body ends, there is opening of that to including this whole sensory universe that is our body; sound, light, smell, air. This is opening further, so-to-speak. As soon as we get caught in some state, our effort is to allow opening this; we go “further” because awareness isn’t limited to physical environment. It is the nature of awareness-functioning that we are. And naturally, if that is where we get stuck, in a particular state of body-mind – whether pleasant, or blissful, or whatever – we go beyond, open it. This is our sitting practice. Whenever we find our self caught up in thought, emotion, right here is the practice effort opportunity, whether noticing, labeling, or simply letting go, all of which are fine and appropriate according to circumstances. Please know that “opening” is being right here. It is not a matter of breath, leading to body, leading to environment, leading to mental state. No thing to open. No, it is whatever is appropriate, according to the dependent arising of this moment that we are. It might be appropriate being this physical pain in my knees, but opening is opening to breathing. It might be opening to this sound, giving our self away to the sound, allowing the sound to take all of me. It is not an either/or, not one that excludes the other. Breathing always includes the so-called background of the whole room, the whole space, the whole universe. The whole universe breathes me. Nevertheless, we need to see how and where to make the appropriate effort, focus, concentration. What is the appropriate effort at this moment? This is your intelligence, your clarifying practice, seeing the effort to make based on this moment arising and making appropriate effort. This moment arising of who/what you are right now. Right now you are nothing but the life of Buddha, which is exactly your life, not something somewhere else. It is right now as you are. This is the Dependent Arising teaching of Shakyamuni Buddha.

Dependent arising (co-origination, pratitya samutpada) is articulated as the Four Noble Truths, which expounds how there is suffering; how, in not being this moment, we are caught up in either trying to make something solid or make it disappear and thereby suffer. I want, I am – that is one side. We try to hold on to this arising, this flowing we are. This flowing, the Five Aggregates of body-mind, that is our life, exactly this. Joko expresses this as “flickering.” And yet we try to solidify this flowing, make it fixed, separate, even permanent. Sometimes we describe dependent arising as a middle point between so-called eternalism and so-called nihilism or annihilation. We know eternalism and annihilation in an immediate sense: “Oh, I’m this way! This can’t happen to me! I’m not supposed to have that!” It is right there. Or: “This has to stay this way! It’s not fair that he’s doing that to me! It has to be this way!” This is trying to make this flowing moment into something separate and solid, holding to emotion-thoughts. So practice here is noticing emotion-thought. Or “I don’t like to feel this,” wanting it to go away, not wanting it to be this way, whether physically or emotionally. Not giving our self away to this moment. If we clarify this practice in our own discomfort, dissatisfaction or suffering, we see impermanence and no-self immediately, intimately. This is giving our self away. Awareness sitting, being breathing, being bodily present, is giving our self away; over and over, inhabiting this body-mind-universe, being this bodily-sensory present. This moment is allowing the universe to take all of me.

Explaining, dependent arising essentially means that according to circumstances including so-called past, this moment arises. This is cause and effect. Nevertheless, there is no dependent, there is no arising, no passing! And there is no non-dependent, no non-arising! No independent, no permanent! To see this intimately, not as a concept, but as this intimate life – not only to see it, but to live it, to feel this, is most difficult for us because of held self-centered emotion thought. The antidote for this is exactly awareness right here. It is not somewhere else. Because we are the whole universe, there is no need to seek for anything outside of this moment, this body, this functioning. There is nothing outside that you need. Unfortunately, we often add on or allow to sneak back in the self-centeredness sense of separation, carrying self into the present moment. The whole universe is what brings together this moment of your life as it is, and brings together the opportunity of being this moment of life as it is, dependent arising. Awareness is intimate. It is not extra, it is exactly as we are, this functioning. It is only missed when we are caught up and live in the chatter of body-mind habits, of self centered emotion thought.

According to circumstances, we have the opportunity of practice efforts. Awareness allows us to be what is so, to see what is so, to be this conditioned arising moment of right now, this inter-being moment of right now.

Fundamentals are not just for beginners. Always this is giving our self away to this moment, allowing this moment to take all of me, because this moment is all of me. And according to circumstances, dependent upon arising, we get to be who we are. Or we get to see where and how we are caught up in separating self and other. Seeing is the opportunity to be this. “I and all beings of the great Earth have together attained the way,” states Shakyamuni Buddha. “I and all beings of the great Earth are the perfection of the attained way.” Being so, there is nothing that you encounter that is not this perfection; nothing you encounter so-called inside, so-called outside, so-called self, so-called others. Now saying this is nice, but is not of any use unless we live this. What of when we bump into what we find hard to be, bump into what we find hard to give our self away to? This is the opportunity of practice, of being aware right now. Being breath. Being breathed. Being walked. Being this body mind. Too much conceptual words, but nevertheless I say it as a pointer.

It is important to be clear on our practice effort, not because there is anything to think about, but because the practice effort is ours to do, is all we can do. In sitting together in the zendo we are being supported by the practice of others, being supported by the form of the sesshin, being supported by sitting, by walking, being supported in being exactly who we are. At the same time, we are making the effort of supporting walking, sitting. We are making the effort in our sitting to support the sitting of the whole zendo, not because we are doing something special but because we are giving our self to this moment.

Being the timekeeper, the effort is in striking the bell. Leading the reading, the effort is reading with ears and eyes as well as mouth, with body and breath. It is so in all activities, whether taking food or giving food, whether cooking food, walking, or cleaning. All of our activities are supporting the functioning of all of us together. Yet, though sesshin is together, each of us must make our individual effort to be this that is who we are. Because it is inter-dependent arising, because it is inter-being functioning, we are supporting each other by being exactly this breath-moment.

Dogen Zenji says “You should know that basically we lack nothing of highest enlightenment...Practice is from the outset inseparable from realization.” He doesn’t mean someone else, he means me and you. “Since fortunately we transmit in ourselves,” – exactly as we are – “our own wondrous practice, our endeavor of the way as beginners,” – and we are all beginners right now – “realizes our own inherent original nature.” Being awareness allows us to clarify this inherent original dependent arising for our self. Living this is clarifying this; living this, we just go on. Please make this practice effort, clarify and be supported in this endeavor of the way of our life. Thank you.

© 2005 Elihu Genmyo Smith