Online Newsletter of the Prairie Zen Center      -      515 S. Prospect, Champaign, IL 61820                April 2006

Zendo Schedule
All sittings are at 515 S. Prospect, Champaign (NW corner of Green and Prospect).

Weekdays: (Mon.-Fri.): 6:00 to 6:50 a.m.
Tuesdays: & Thursdays: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
  Dokusan available per Elihu's schedule
Saturdays: 8:00 to 9:00 a.m.
  Unstructured, sit or do slow kinhin as you
  wish
Sunday Mornings: (dokusan available)
  8:45. Samu

    (cleaning/set up)
  9:00 Service
  9:20 Zazen & Kinhin

    (sitting and walking meditiation)
  10:00 Introduction for newcomers
  11:00 Dharma talk

You are welcome to join Sundays sittings at the beginning of any sitting period. An introduction to Zen practice is available during the 10:00 a.m. sitting period. This schedule is approximate; please arrive early. Please wait until the beginning of walking meditation and enter the zendo at that time. During sesshin, the regular schedule is suspended.

Phone Schedule (Summer)
Out-of-towners can reach Elihu at these times:
Mondays: 9:00 to 10:00 a.m.
Tuesdays: 7:20 to 7:55 p.m.
Thursdays: 7:20 to 8:00 p.m.
The Center is closed the day before and the day after sesshin, all phone interviews are also canceled on those days.
Note: There will be no phone hours on July 4th or Aug. 14th & 15th

Phone - (217)355-8835
 E-Mail -  pzc@prairiezen.org
 

Members on the Web
If you are a member of the Prairie Zen Center and have personal information, announcements, web links, etc that you would like posted on the PZC web page, send an email to pzc@prairiezen.org.

Upcoming Events
 • There will be an all-day sitting on June 17th from 9:00am to 5:00pm with a board meetings at 4:00pm the same day.
• The next sesshin begins on Friday, July the 7th and ends Sunday the 9th. It will be held in Springfield, Illinois at the home of Annette Leiblic. A map to Annette’s house will be made available to those who register. This will be a good sesshin for first-timers and, of course, experienced sesshin attendees will enjoy it too.
• The August sesshin begins on the 30th and ends September 4th.

Elihu’s Travel Schedule
- Elihu will be among the resident teachers for the Great Sky Sesshin at Hokyoji Monastery in Eitzen, Minnesota August 12th to 19th. Information and registration forms are available by contacting the Milwaukee Zen Center at 414-963-0526 or by visiting their web site at http://www.milwaukeezencenter.org/greatsky/

Audio Talks on the Web Site
Dharma talks in audio (MP3) format are available on the PZC website. These talks were mostly recorded during sesshin with a few from the regular Sunday schedule. They can be accessed by going to the “Articles and Dharma Talks” page via the “Readings” menu of the web site. A $5.00 donation is required to access the audio page which currently contains over 40 talks including 2 by Karen Cho-on Etheridge.

Pledge Letters
The Membership Secretary will be sending out a letter a couple of weeks after the end of each quarter to all the members of the Prairie Zen Center detailing the pledge of support each has made for 2006 and the funds we have received up to the end of the quarter. If you have not yet made a pledge and wish to do so or have questions at any point, please email us at acct@prairiezen.org.
   Thank you for your support!

Embodying Life
Elihu Genmyo Smith

A cool wind, bright green spring leaves blowing, a cloudless sky. Seeing this, feeling this, I am all of it. This alive world is joy!

“You are a stupid and selfish…;” when I am cursed it is not easy to accept this – much less embody this intimacy of life. I may cringe and withdraw or strike out. It does not feel joyful; it feels like suffering, like pain. “I do not want this, no way.” This is difficult to even touch, much less to rest as, to rest in. Embracing gain is fine; losing, “no, not this!” Can I face losses, will I feel loss? Resistance seems natural; “Yes, I should avoid this.” Nevertheless, I am everything I encounter, you are everything you encounter. No need to agree, figure this out or believe this. To the extent you can, embody this life as you are. Of itself, being this ongoing practice, life reveals life.

Sitting, being present, we may see and sense this interconnected life we are. Yes, this aliveness is wonderful. Nevertheless, even seeing it, this is hard to embrace. At times we are sure that what we encounter is not us! “I do not want this,” not this experience, no way! This life moment is hard to embody, to actualize. Uncomfortable or painful feelings arise; “this hurts, this is not me.” Bodily pains and illness arise – “this is unacceptable, intolerable.” Memories of past “mistakes” or “misdeeds” are not welcome. What am I to do when this moment feels so bad? Naturally I want to avoid suffering. When suffering occurs I think I should change something, the circumstance or cause, try to fix it or get away from the suffering. Paradoxically, truly “avoiding” suffering is being suffering when this arises. Yes, completely entering this moment suffering, opening this suffering. Then we discover that joy is not elsewhere; that joy and equanimity is not some thing opposed to suffering but is in the very midst of the seeming suffering, that suffering is in the midst of joy and equanimity. Can you rest as this moment, even as this moment of pushing away, of “no, not this?” Waking up aching, can you be this?

Naturally we like feeling good. It is great. Since we often connect “feeling good” to particular conditions and circumstances, either external or internal, inevitably there are times we do not feel good. When this is “not good,” or feeling good does not arise, then what? When something is lacking, then what? We try to do what will change the feelings. We try to distance our self from what we don’t like - doing all sorts of things to get away. One strategy of change is behaviors like drinking, partying and so forth. Unfortunately, out of the very ordinary attempt to feel good, or to avoid feeling bad, some strategies result in more difficulties.

There are people with whom you do not want to be, to whose memory you react - thinking about them cascades into hurt, anger and frustration. There are people with whom you want to be - who can not or do not want to be with you. All of us “lose” someone. We may blame this on others, our self, forces of nature or the unknown. When “loss” occurs you want to do something – or you feel helpless, and even hopeless. So, what to do?

The Hebrew Bible states “Love your neighbor as your self.” (Something similar is stated in many traditions.) This is often taken prescriptively, meaning you should imagine your neighbor is like your self - therefore love him and treat him the way you would treat your self. Actually, the point is more basic and direct: your neighbor is your self! If you see this clearly, naturally you function as love that is life - towards your neighbor, towards all you encounter, which is your self. Unfortunately, at times we even find it difficult to love our “self”- thoughts, emotions, feeling, and states of being that we judge, criticize and want to reject. So, we have suffering. Fortunately, right here is the opportunity of opening, including loving our suffering. No need to try to change, to add or get rid of any thing; simple and straightforward, embodying this, being exactly as this moment is is loving – being this body – mind –world. Of itself, life is naturally revealed, naturally seen. In fact, right now, body – mind – world are not separate, are certainly not three things. Our encounter is always right now. Considerations of so-called past or future can turn this encounter into something else, and then we miss this, this which is nothing but our self. Past and future, as well as present, are right now. So, noticing holding emotion thought, embody and function as this actualized life moment you are right now. This is our practice opportunity; nothing lacking, nothing extra. Zazen is a way to do this. Zazen is being what is – inhabiting this moment life.

Everything we encounter is exactly our self. So, our life is serving everything we encounter - our life is being served by everything we encounter. Serving and being served are positions we embody according to circumstances - exactly this life-death. If we limit serving, limit self, to what “I like” or “dislike,” then there are difficulties. Ongoing practice is inhabiting this moment. Serving is inhabiting this moment, serving what appears, giving self away to self. Serving - whether I want to or not, whether it suits me or not. Serving what does not feel good, what feels uncomfortable and even painful, this requires our practice commitment to enable us to do this despite the natural habit of avoiding discomfort. The opportunity of being this holding moment is right here in clinging and sticking to positions and beliefs. As our practice effort, seeing this holding enables us to inhabit this moment.

Seeing holding is likewise the practice effort if we are holding to a fixed position of “being kind’ or “compassionate;” unseen and uninhabited attachment to “kindness,” “compassion,” hinders responding appropriately to what is needed. Needed by what? By life - not as an extra or special effort but as exactly what is required by the whole of this moment, this universe which is exactly our life. This is compassion, this is kindness. This life as is is exactly this wonderful opportunity.

No need for an idealized style. Making mistakes, the practice is to do what is required next. Serving mistakes, serving selfish actions, serving foolishness and the consequences of these, even the reactive anger and more which might result. Responding to what is required allows what is needed to arise. Bowing to the mistake, we then clean up. It is human functioning, knowledge and wisdom, which enable us to see, act and respond. Even knowledge and wisdom may get in the way - especially if this is unseen. If it gets in the way, no problem; the mistakes are our right here opportunity; mistake after mistake is the perfect way.

Honey and nectar are wonderful, but only a bee lives on this; you can not live on only honey and nectar. Yes, enjoy honey. However, attempting to stick to a life of honey will keep us from the life we are. A life limited to only the comfortable and the luxurious does not sustain. A practice that is too comfortable, a “country club Zen” that cushions us from circumstances and avoids fear, does not nurture life. Practice is not a means to be safe and comfortable. A good practice is sustained in the midst of life, including life’s inevitable discomforts and disappointments. Life as it is offers these; these are also supported and created by practice communities, schedules of sitting and sesshin. Ongoing practice makes good use of these. We do not require only what is likable, only a diet of honey. The varied diet of arising circumstances, which are our life, is the nurturing of the joy we are. “The Buddha turns the Dharma Wheel and so Reality is shown in all its many forms, He liberates all suffering beings and brings them to Great Joy.” The varied tastes and flavors, sweet, sour, bitter and pungent, all the arising circumstances are the present moment diet which sustains us, sustains this Great Joy. Inhabiting this moment is being sustained. The many forms are the reality of our life, this Great Joy is seeing and being who we are. This Great Joy is our life as this is right now. So, being this joyful life, enjoy.


© 2006 Elihu Genmyo Smith